Memories

I've been converting old home videos to dvd lately, and this morning I started working on the tape I made of my last couple of visits with Mom before she succumbed to pancreatic cancer. Bittersweet, for sure. It was heartwarming to see Mom interact with Elliott, Ian and Emily. It is always good to hear Mom's advice. I miss that more than words can adequately express. It will be 16 years this month since Mom passed away. That is mind-boggling to me.

Today would have been Mike Wilson's 48th birthday. My childhood best friend, and Best Man at our wedding was buried in Danville back in March. I miss not getting to call him today and remind him that he caught back up with me in the old age department.

The time period from mid-September to mid-October is pretty tough for me. In addition to Mike's birthday, I spend time remembering Granny and Grandpa Johnson both of whom passed away in that time period. I remember Barb whose birthday falls in that time period. I remember Mom who passed away in that time period. I remember the good times, the pleasant conversations, the advice given (some of it even taken), the prayers lifted up for those we love, and the prayers that God would give the strength needed to let go and say "see you later" to those loved ones. It is with mixed emotions that I go through this time of year. Much good has come from these tragic times, and for that I am eternally grateful. Much loss was suffered and is still felt from those tragic times. I praise God that He is there with me always. I praise God for the memories that bring a smile to my face even in the midst of the tears in my eyes.

Because of the hope I have in Jesus, I can get through the tough time period of mid-September through Mid-October. I can hear the old Geoff Moore and the Distance song, Listen To Our Hearts** and not cry too much. That was my theme song and prayer during Mom's illness. I can watch that video of my last several visits with Mom in small doses. I have never watched the entire hour and 42 minutes of footage in one sitting because it overwhelms me. I still believe that Jesus carried me through that most difficult time, as He has when my grandparents, Peggy's grandparents, two great aunts, Barb, and Mike all passed away.

I know this post has been kind of a "downer" overall in tone, but I am also here to say without hesitation that without Jesus, I couldn't have survived those difficult times. How people can traverse this life without Jesus is beyond me. The fact that I don't have to is something for which I give praise to God every day.

Memories. May Jesus inhabit them all. May His love in your life be so evident that even the toughest of times become an opportunity to give Him praise. He will be there for you and with you. Sometimes He Calms The Storm and other times He calms His child.

** Yes, I know the URL is for a different song title, but the lyric source I am using has the lyrics for "Listen To Our Hearts" on the "Live and Learn" page. Figures!